How good are you at letting go? Is it easy for you to let go of friendships, clothes, dreams, objects, expectations, habits?
Can you think of the last thing you knew you had to let go, but you decided to keep anyway?
It isn’t easy. It is normal to get attached and comfortable within our current states. Even at the thought of making the change, you are probably having a lot of thoughts going through your mind right this minute.
But that capacity or skill to let go is one of the main things to work on if you want to better yourself, build the life of your dream and succeed in business.
To move forward you have to let go. To feel light and navigate through life with ease, you have to accept the things you leave behind, both tangible and intangible. It will allow you to accept change with more ease, have the capacity to travel and move with joy, feel in control and strong about your life and choices and have the feeling that what you have or who you are with, are all part of your present decision. Learning to let go will bring you great joy.
Understand that letting go is a decision.
First and foremost, you have to realize that you are holding on to something, someone, a memory of a physical object. And before you make that decision, you have to raise your awareness about how this is affecting you.
Observe and accept how it makes you feel, and then, move on.
For objects, ask yourself:
- Does it fit with my current vibe & lifestyle?
- Do I love it today, or I am attached to the memory and past joy it brought me?
- Does it bring me joy and lightness?
- Is it in the back of my head that I should get rid of it, but I can’t?
For friends, ask yourself:
- Do I enjoy spending time with them?
- Does the relationship elevate me and bring me joy?
- Are we there for each other in a balanced and healthy way?
- Am I interested in the topics of discussion or activities are chosen?
- Does it feel easy and fun to stay in touch, or am I always avoiding?
- Do I really want to spend my precious time with that person?
For habits, ask yourself:
- What makes me want to keep producing that behaviour?
- Do I believe I can change & grow?
- Am I identified by these processes & patterns?
- Does my future, ideal self act this way? Does it bring me closer to my dream self?
The decision is where it all begins.
You have to realize that the current situation is holding you back, creating unnecessary noise or taking you away from fully living in the moment. You have to be clear and loud that, from now on, things are going to be different.
Write down your decision and write down the joy it will bring you after you implemented the change.
For example, the best way to let go of a bad habit like snoozing your alarm too many times before getting up is to transform your thinking and turn it into a new positive habit in your life:
”I am a morning person, I do not identify myself as being someone that snoozes. I wake up early because it allows me to have breakfast in peace and take time to wake up slowly and feel healthy. ”
For clothes or feelings or people, focus on writing down the decision, along with what are the feelings associated to it. What feelings no longer serve you? What feelings do you want to welcome into your life?
”I only keep in my life objects that are aligned with my vision and bring me joy. I refuse to stay attached to old memory or feel guilty about giving things away. I choose ease and joy. ”
For each situation you encounter, try to remind yourself that once the decision is made, the biggest part is over. By making the decision, you choose to no longer ruminate about past feelings, doubt or fear the future or live in an illusion of control. By making the decision, you choose to live with more ease and ultimately bring yourself back to the present moment.
It is often hard to let go because we ruminate the past, or try to predict the future. So center yourself back to the present, take a deep breath and ask: Do I really need this in my life right now? The answers should be flowing.
How to activate the how?
It is all about taking tiny steps and slowly implementing more and more mindfulness into your life. There are three things you want to work on:
1. Living in the moment
2. Allow yourself to experience your emotions fuller and use them as a catalyst for action
This means that when you feel stuck in feelings or situation, or when the attachment is too strong to let go, let the emotion sink in first. You want to feel it and let it flow. Maybe write everything that crosses your mind down or talks to a friend.
3. Take small steps towards letting go
Ask yourself: what is the smallest action I can take right now? Start from there.
- Feeling overwhelmed by your amount of clothes? Try throwing old underwear first
- Feeling angry at someone, try writing a letter of forgiveness, even if you don’t give it, but just to ease the pain.
- Feeling attached to your house and unable to move even if it’s too small? Try painting the walls and changing things around and observe how your feeling evolve.
Practice self-love and accept to try different things as you grow stronger in your ability to let go. Accept the situations and feeling, tune in gratitude, forgive yourself and others, focus on the things you can actually have power on and take action.
So I ask you now: what do you have control over right now? And take that first step to letting go.
French-Canadian Expat in Berlin, my name is Marjolaine, but you can call me Bow. I m a Yoga Teacher, Female Founder, Mindfulness Coach & Pop Singer. I maintain a balance between two worlds with a calm and worry-free mind. Aside from my Mindful Business, you can find my first dream-pop album ”We Better Enjoy Now on Spotify! After travelling & living abroad for over three years, I understand the reality of young entrepreneurs & digital nomads. We all want to live fully, but we sometimes get lost in the midst of life. Are you ready to bloom and discover mindfulness as a tool for change? Are you ready to get one step closer to living your most beautiful & exciting life starting today?
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